Heavy

Fall Break in Santa Rosa Beach, Florida

We are already in November! How in the world did that happen, again?! I think we just put away Christmas decorations a few months ago, and I’m sure some of my neighbors are already finished with their shopping and about to light the tree. We, on the other hand, always seem to just be keeping up. I wonder which is more stressful . . .

Solar Eclipse 2017
Crossville, TN (most amazing thing I’ve ever seen!)
Elizabeth’s 13th Birthday!
Mother/Daughter date
Harrison’s first day of school
Amber’s Homecoming dance

There’s been a heaviness around me the last several days. I guess we all have periods of light-heartedness (oh, I could use a good laugh!) and then moments of burden. We’ve had friends going through diagnoses, treatments, pain, and family members dealing with sickness and losing loved ones, and one of our principal’s battling cancer, and the shock of a child at our daughter’s school deciding to take her life. I’ve also had the receptionist at Vanderbilt Medical Center and a store clerk share with me their extensive health problems that had me wondering how they do it day after day. It has been a period of one distressing story after another. Even as people of faith, it is sometimes hard to stay positive. At least our country is running smoothly and the world is at peace. 😉

So, in our little world, things are relatively okay. We are so blessed in so many ways. Our kids are in three really different phases in elementary, middle school and high school. We are constantly thinking on our feet and switching hats as to which parenting style is appropriate at 7 versus 15. Sometimes we forget grounding doesn’t work for our 1st grader and time-out doesn’t work on a teenager. And what do you do when you forget what rules you made about Friday night, BUT they remember exactly what you said and will hold you to it. . .

We took our first family vacation since June of 2016. It was a nice, relaxing trip to the panhandle of Florida.  It was unlike what I used to experience, but still such a wonderful change of scenery. I enjoyed the balcony, going out to dinner and getting to the beach a couple of times for sunset. I’m still on oxygen 24/7 and my endurance is short. So, I’m unable to walk the beach or bike with the family. I’m also not supposed to be in the sun, so that makes beach trips interesting. Despite those restrictions, I did read half of a novel which I haven’t done on vacation since becoming a parent. We all got some good rest and quality time together.

Fall Break sunset
Crab Leg Feast
Sweet Elizabeth
Seaside, FL
Boiled Peanuts for the ride home!

I’m on my 5th month of taking a clinical drug trial medicine for my Graft Vs Host Disease of my eyes and lungs. The bottom line is that I’m basically stable, which they consider a good outcome. I have a severe obstruction of my lungs. I test at 22-24% of my expected forced exhale volume. Which means I don’t have much room for inhalation, so that’s why I can’t breathe well.  However, my MDs are hopeful that I’ve bottomed out and that with much time, I’ll see some improvement. I try to stay positive even when I can only do short activities here and there, but it could be worse, and I’m always grateful to be cancer free.

I developed cataracts on my eyes from the years of prednisone, so I’ve had one eye operated on 2 weeks ago and the other will be lasered on Tuesday. What a difference! It is like going from substandard to high definition vision. My eyes will continue to need the scleral lenses for moisture because the GVHD has caused extreme dryness.

With all the distressing news and rising anxiety, I know that it all comes down to prayer. There’s not much, if any, control we have in this life. I’m learning to pray and let God take it. But sometimes I want to hold on to it and knead it for a while. The Bible tells us to worry about nothing and pray about everything. Phillipians 4 6-7.  I must try to surrender to this every day.

from Jesus Always
by Sarah Young – click to read

2 great songs:

 

4 thoughts on “Heavy

  1. I hadn’t heard how you were doing recently and kept hoping that no news was good news. You look amazing and the family looks so healthy! So, so happy that you got to get away for fall break. I hope you also had a blessed Thanksgiving. Praying that you continue to improve a little every day. Love you and miss you! Angie and family

  2. April, So glad to read an update! I can’t believe how much your kids have grown!! Keeping you in my prayers and sending hugs from North Carolina.

  3. You are gorgeous and have such a beautiful family! Thanks for the needed reminder to turn it all over to our loving Father daily.

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